21 December 2006

durruti's fifth column

also on the list of quick to decide and slow to implement, on the
advice of the Knowledgeable i have decided to start a popular column
in a major newspaper on cooking. now that i'm no longer interested in
cooking, i feel i have the necessary professional detachment to make
this endeavor a major success.

it's going to be dear abbey or doctor strangelove style, with people
from all over the intelligible universe sending in emails or postcards
of cooking questions and me attempting to write sensical responses,
with the quixotic media-luna ever-waiting in the proverbial wings.

so in order for this particular branch of the madness to take off
carry this whole cookbook marketing scheme to the next spaceship
level, i need some questions from the collective you.

that is, in an attempt at clarity:

i am asking for people to send me questions about cooking which i will
then answer and post on "cooking can be god" as first steps towards
writing a cooking advice column. they can be simple like "how do i
make a vegetarian foie gras" or somewhat subtle, such as, "my boss
invited me over for dinner. should i eat the meat if it's local but
not organic, organic but not local, or only if raw? and is this sexual
harrassment or not?"

i promise not to take the questions seriously if you take the answers
in kind. to prevent this from getting out of hand in a pontificatory
manner, i do declare that each response will have a recipe for
something edible (or bebible) that is vegetarian and in english.

thanks in advance for your kind assistance in this new, daring,
endeavor. the goal is that i'll have a dozen columns or so to show the
raving masses of newspaper editors currently plaguing me with
inquiries to my non-existent mobile handy. which means, naturally,
that if you know someone who would carry this column, do let them


ps we can have "swearing" and "non-sweating" versions, maybe.

black panthers head back to the motherland:

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