the rollercoaster is made of love

or a carpet of green polarized glass and one white bar across your consciousness with cottonwoods in the background against the dungeness river. this morning i went for a walk and saw salmon chilling in the ponds, perhaps on their up the watery hill.

last sunday we went to the fremont barrio of seattle to work the farmers market. the dodge diesel and myself. alana met me there and unloaded in the early morning, preamble to goat cheese and roasted red bell peppers and pointing carrots at clueless passerby and learning for myself the age-old lesson: marketing is about sex appeal.

people weren't interested in the vegetables as much as smiles and flair and innuendo. they would stop for my lines and end up with a (reused) bag full of organic vegetables. which i am prone to feeling bad about -- it is manipulation -- but its manipulation to buy organic vegetables which could possibly

save
us
all.

as jen pointed out, im not using sex to sell crack. and poetry, too, is manipulation.

alana told me her friend, who works as a nurse, undertook a prozac study at the altitude of 80mg (whereas 20mg might be a normal dose). she said she noted she simply couldnt feel emotion. not that she wasn't sad or depressed, but rather, that she had no ability to feel those emotions, nor happiness, excitement. it wasn't until the study ended that she cried about her friends who had left town.

another dimension to the antidepressants and the war on language that should be calling them antiemotives or something. how can you be depressed by the incredible harsh reality of the Wars we undertake if you're on medication. could that be the point? a pleasant side effect for the power structure. you couldn't write it better. like dick cheney's robotic heart.

somehow the news got to me this week, harpers index, so in an overture to the social nature of misery, i'd like to share. cough up the prozac before starting if you want to short your keyboard with some tears. but its not online. oh well.

one love for everyone, even the robotic hearts,
ankur


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